Week 7: In L.A.

This will be short. I am tired. Have I mentioned I’m racing my first 50K in three weeks? And we’re in the ‘you really need to run a lot’ period of training.

I went to L.A. this weekend on a whirlwind 52-hour tour to visit some friends. That meant I wasn’t exactly “plugged in” so to speak. I sort of zoned out, instead, ate a lot of cookies, did some running. Friday afternoon, after I met a friend for lunch, I rolled over to the Coliseum pool (relic of the Olympics, now a $3.50 public pool, L.A. for the win). And I could not figure out what length this goddamn pool was, why they had put the bulkhead in somewhere weird. The lifeguard said “it’s 25” and I said, “no, it’s not.” I can close my eyes and swim 25 yards. This was not that. This wasn’t even 25 meters, I was positive. It was something weird.

Turned out it was 27.5m. But my workout and intervals and times were all set for 25y, so I had to swim almost 20% more on everything. Ugh. I can not even express to you how much this sucked. I could tell you “it sucked but I got it done and it was a total slog.” Except, seriously. I almost got out of the pool and gave up. And then when I didn’t get out, I felt like I was swimming in place. And then I got it done eventually. Not amazingly. I had to burn a lot more matches, though, than I wanted to burn on a random middle-of-the-road workout day.

And then on Saturday I ran 16 miles from my friend’s house to meet her for a hike in Temescal Canyon. It was a classic L.A. beach run, down the beach bike path all through Venice, Santa Monica, almost to Malibu. It was also a bit of a slog. I actually got the iPod out, that’s how slog-y it was. I’m sure there are people who love running along the beach. Or, rather, I think there are people who think they like running along the beach. But in reality it’s a mindfuck and the cement path just pounds your legs and everything hurts and it never ends. Trust me. I’ve done a lot of beach path running. It’s not as awesome as it sounds.

But it also got done. And my legs never really felt worse. Actually, they felt OK, and I felt OK. And then I ran “fast” on Sunday and weighted backpack stair’d today.

A lot of days I don’t really know how to explain what I do or what I want to do or anything about my life. A lot of days it feels like I’m just sort of dicking around and like I should PULL IT TOGETHER ALREADY. But then sometimes I tell myself if you just do the workouts, it doesn’t matter how you feel about them. Just keep logging the work, the days, getting it done. Eventually it’ll click. I hope.

You can read all my weekly recaps of being a second year pro triathlete. 

Week 6: A Race Report-ish – Kaiser Half-Marathon

Thursday I had my final (sorta) follow-up appointment at Stanford. It was the shortest appointment ever. My doctor basically said, “Well, if you haven’t had any more heart episodes since early December, then I guess it’s back to normal. We still don’t know exactly why it came on so intensely, but fingers crossed it stays away and I don’t see you again for many years.”

Fingers crossed is always the official medical diagnosis you want to hear.

Continue reading “Week 6: A Race Report-ish – Kaiser Half-Marathon”

Year 2, Week 5: #sopro

Here are some things that happened this week:

  • I got home from Bermuda at 1:30 a.m. Sunday night/Monday morning before working fill-in at the station on Monday
  • I wrote four stories, and missed the deadline on another one
  • I filled in half-time for an editor who’s in Thailand
  • My head and stomach still hurt, which required a lot of sleeping
  • Tupac had to go to the emergency vet for 24 hours
  • Plus, I somehow trained 15.5 hours, so at least starting to get back to normal

It was quite a week.

Oh, also, I signed some real contracts with sponsors this week, almost like I’m a real professional athlete who’s really getting ready for a real season. It’s sort of exciting. In case you didn’t pick up from the social medias, of course I’m still going to be working with Smashfest Queen and Dimond Bikes. We all know once I find a bike I like I never give it up. And if you need any cute tri or cycling gear (or running stuff and tank tops) let me know, because I own them all. I’m also adding two companies I’m working with this year: Clif Bar, since I eat a stupid amount (like, maybe, actually a dumb amount) of chocolate mint Clif bars, and Xterra, since I wore all my favorite Xterra wetsuits into disintegration and then lent my incredibly old one to a friend and never got it back because they also loved it too much.

So I guess you could say the year is really getting started now. I’m having my usual ‘how the hell does this all fit into the same amount of time’ breakdown. Last year, when I told Hillary at one point in the spring that I couldn’t get it all done, she told me: Well, just get through this week, and then know this is the new normal. So there you go.

Also. I have started to make a race plan. First one of the year, a half-marathon, this weekend. We’ll see.

P.S. Tupac is OK. He just has this thing where his urethra gets blocked sometimes, and he had to get the blockage removed. We’re working on a long-term solution too, a prescription diet and stuff.

Week 4: Throwing up in Bermuda

This week, I went to Bermuda for basically a long weekend. Four days really. A work reporting trip that was supposed to include a lot of triathlon-ing.

And then I got really sick. Maybe five hours after I landed, around 4 a.m. Really, really sick.

Sometime around the start of the 12 hours of throwing up, I passed out and hit my head on the shower stall. At least, that’s what I assume happened because I came to in the act of vomiting on myself, laying in blood on the floor of the shower. (When I told the PR staff for the trip that I was too sick to do anything and probably wouldn’t be leaving the hotel room, I downplayed this part. People sort of freak out when you say things like “passed out and hit my head.” But #realtalk guys, it was bad.)

Continue reading “Week 4: Throwing up in Bermuda”

Week 3: It gets better

There was a day, during the bad period in December, when I was doing a short walk/jog and there was an older larger man also walk/jogging around the neighborhood in his basketball shorts for his health. And I was not gaining on him.

Which is fine, except that the whole time I was taking walk breaks, I kept thinking to myself: YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL AT THIS. (I talk to myself in the second person, or maybe that’s the third. Whatever.)

Continue reading “Week 3: It gets better”

Week 2: Sparkles and Sick Cats

We’re in year two of this pro triathlon thing. More or less. You can read all my weekly recaps.

When we got our new cat Snoop, poor Tupac got so stressed out he made himself sick. At first he seemed fine, then he developed some kind of urinary tract infection and blockage and had to have a mini-surgery. This is, apparently, a thing that happens with male cats: they stress themselves out so much they get sick. After he recovered, he was mostly fine again. The two of them were getting along, except for the fact that Snoop is insane and tries to break everything in the house.

Continue reading “Week 2: Sparkles and Sick Cats”

Year 2, Week 1: Just Don’t Ask What’s Next

This came in the mail a few weeks ago and I was going to call that week one of year two of being a professional triathlete, but I still wasn’t training and was just doing the waiting to see if I got better thing, which meant sometimes instead of swimming I would end up drinking margaritas and feeling bad about myself, so it didn’t exactly feel like week one of anything.

Only now it’s 2018 and yesterday everyone posted their inspirational well-filtered photo declarations of how this year will be different and better and more. AND. I’m back on an actual training schedule now, albeit a light one. So let’s go ahead and call this week one.

Did you know I trained 640 hours this past year? Even with the fact that the last two months have been minimal at best. That’s a lot of hours.

Generally, I’ve done year in review posts about what I achieved, what I raced, where I went, what I did good and what I did bad. But Dec. 31 is sort of arbitrary. It feels delayed, behind the actual race season we care about. I already looked back at my first year as a pro. It happened. There were some things learned, some successes. The best thing about the year? And this will sound hokey as fuck, but still. I made a lot of friends. I think I only paid for a hotel at one race, because friends put me up and homestays let me crash and teammates gave me their extra bedrooms. I saw the same people over and over, and we went through the same things, and then we saw each other again at the next race. Who knew there really is a community in pro triathlon? At least a little bit. And thank you to Smashfest Queen and Dimond Bikes and Freeplay. This year was the first time I felt like a real sponsored athlete and actually knew the individual people who were behind the companies. It was like they were invested in me as much I was invested in them.

I went to L.A. and San Diego and Arizona and Seattle. Canada, of course, but Victoria and Mont-Tremblant/Montreal this year. I got to go to Costa Rica and visit New York for the first time in well over a decade. I don’t know how much traveling all over Northern California counts, Tahoe and Santa Cruz and Monterey, and wine country is basically every one of my long rides. Then there were a couple weeks in Chicago and Kentucky. Things happened.

My best race: Santa Cruz 70.3
My favorite race: IM Mont-Tremblant
My nuttiest race: Costa Rica 70.3 or maybe the Dipsea
My race I’m pretending didn’t happen: IM Louisville

I made a concerted effort this year to focus on triathlon, which meant a lot of the time I felt like I wasn’t doing as good a job in the other half of my career. Freelancing is defined by cycles of crises, and the cycles came so frequently this year I almost learned to just let them wash over me. But in between, I actually did some work I liked. And a lot of that had to do with finally doing more work in and about triathlon, almost as if I have some sort of expertise in the sport and industry.

People keep asking what my plans are for this upcoming year, what races I’m signed up for, where am I going, what am I doing?

I don’t know. I don’t know because four weeks ago I didn’t even know if I’d be racing at all. I don’t know because even though I’m back to training and starting to half-form plans, I still need to take it day by day. I don’t know because I’m really not *that* Type A.

I’ve gone a month now with no heart issues. I’m back on a training plan. Three weeks ago, it felt like I was exercising and working overtime just to go backwards, to still lose fitness. Now I’m actually starting to see efforts and times I sometimes normally see. I’m signed up for Way Too Cool 50K in March. I’m planning to do it, if everything goes according to plan. It’ll be my first 50K. My first real race back will be Wildflower, though. Everyone is doing Wildflower. It’ll be awesome and the start of my triathlon season. After that? Who knows. I’ll probably do Santa Rosa, possibly some other random stuff in there. I have a vague idea I’m going to race later into December after such a late start to the season, do a half or two down in S. America. I want to do Swimrun, and one of the races that sounds crazy and fun, maybe IM Wales, maybe Challenge Roth, maybe Super League, maybe something else.

No one really knows what’ll happen in the next 365 days, even if they say they do. I’m just being honest about it.

Why I Had An Arrhythmia Heart Procedure Done and Why I Don’t Want to Talk About It

I started writing this post three weeks ago, when I was easing back into training again post-heart procedure. I thought I’d explain what had happened, because I thought I was already past the worse of things and reading some of what Sam Warriner and Amanda Lovato and Erin Densham had gone through for the same diagnosis and procedure had helped me.

But then things got a lot worse and I didn’t really feel like explaining it and I didn’t have a way to finish that original post, and now it’s been long enough I don’t really want to answer the same questions again and again, actually I don’t really want to talk about it at all, so I’ve sort of just been ignoring everything. But then I end up just answering the same questions again and again one at a time.

So, here, this is my explanation. I’m only making it once. I am not taking opinions, advice or thoughts.

Continue reading “Why I Had An Arrhythmia Heart Procedure Done and Why I Don’t Want to Talk About It”

Year 1: What we learned and what we didn’t

Hey.

So that happened. The first year is over. If you follow any of my social media accounts (or all of them), then you know I DNF’d IM Louisville. If you subscribe to our new triathlon-ish newsletter, then you kind of already read about my thoughts. I don’t know that I have a ton more to say. BTW, I’m doing a weekly triathlon-ish newsletter about triathlon (duh) and endurance sports and whatever I want it to be about. You should subscribe.

I’ve thought a lot about it. I’ve thought so much about it I have nothing left to say about it.

Continue reading “Year 1: What we learned and what we didn’t”

Week 33: See you in a few weeks

I’m not a breaking news reporter. It’s not my thing; I’m not great at it, although I can write fast. So because I haven’t been down in the grit of covering the increasing inundation of tragedies and shootings, I haven’t become as inured to it as some of my friends. But I have worked enough to see it happen more and more, the routine of tragedy become routine.

One of the jobs I do do is I manage a lot of online publishing and social media for different places. There’s this thing you have to do in the wake of a disaster or mass casualty event where you stop and take a “temperature check.” What’s the right tone right now? How bad is this? Should we pause scheduled coverage or change plans, because it’d be insensitive or inappropriate? It’s messed up, but it’s a thing you have to do. And I can tell you the amount of time before things go back to normal has gotten smaller and smaller. There’s even times now where you stop, do a check, and say, ‘Well, this tragedy doesn’t seem to be resonating as much with people.’ Horrific, but true.

I joked earlier this week that my off-season activity was going to be arguing with everyone who’s wrong online. People said all the things they always say in response to this. “Don’t feed the trolls.” “Just ignore it.” “Don’t read the comments.” “It’s not worth it.”

This advice is quaint and nonsensical, as if ignoring terrible ideas makes them disappear or absolves you of the consequences of them. I don’t know if you’ve looked around lately, but all the polite conversation, all the not engaging, all the ‘now isn’t the time’ DOESN’T SEEM TO BE GOING GREAT.

I fundamentally believe we have to talk to each other, even when it’s shitty or uncomfortable. I spend half of my life talking to lots of different people in lots of different places. And then I spend the other half of my time mostly inside my head, training alone. So I’ve had a good amount of time to think about things. And I think part of the problem right now is no one said earlier ‘hey, that’s not a good idea,’ or ‘why don’t we talk about it.’ We ignored and didn’t engage and now everyone’s just screaming at each other or plugging their ears.

I was on Facebook some weeks ago and an acquaintance from college had posted that she was in the car with a friend the other day and the friend had started yelling out the window at a cyclist to get off the road, but thought it was OK since it was a busy road and the cyclist shouldn’t be on it. And, until I said something, everyone on this Facebook thread agreed: cyclists shouldn’t be on the road anyway, it’s for their own safety, why don’t they stick to bike paths. But once I was like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s a really bad idea,’ all of a sudden all these new people agreed with me and other people actually stopped and thought about it. If I hadn’t said anything, then everyone who saw that thread would have gone away with the belief that screaming out windows at cyclists has unanimous support.

I fundamentally believe this is actually important. That we actually have to stand up for what we think and our experiences and beliefs. That our perception of the world is getting distorted by too many people ignoring the trolls. We start to think there are more trolls than people. But it’s also exhausting. Which is why it was going to be my off-season activity.

And I’m exhausted right now. And I’m still in season. One more big race. Next weekend.

So I’m out until after that. I’m taking a mini-internet break (except minus work, which will be interesting and a bit challenging). But I’m going to be pseudo off the social medias through IM Louisville + hanging out in Kentucky, which I haven’t done since Christmas a few years ago + visiting Chicago.

See you all in a few weeks.