Here’s my weekly recap of what it’s like to be professional triathlete, ie. they gave me my license two weeks ago. Read Week 1 here.
Steve is in Finland racing for the Irish National Team at the FIS Nordic Ski World Championships. (True story.) And my schedule right now has me working from home approximately 73% of the time. Which means there have been multiple days in the last week where I didn’t speak to a human person in real life.
Tupac the Cat and I have been having extensive conversations, however.
Tuesday, I couldn’t decide if I should ride on the trainer or go outside and risk the rain. Ultimately, I decided to ride outside. Of course, I got completely soaked and dumped on 30 minutes in, but otherwise I would not have left the house at all that day.
The time hasn’t been solely unproductive. I did a hard clean of the bathroom. I’m going to hire a plumber or someone to come in and touch up the tub caulking and replace the old faucet. Is there a special person who does that? A caulker? Maybe they can look at the seal on the toilet too. And I need to fix the paint chipping around the edges of the windows. I found the old paint in the garage, but maybe I should hire someone for that too. I don’t actually know how to paint. I bet I could Google it. I’d also really like to have a cleaning person do a deep clean of the whole condo, but first I’m reorganizing all the cabinets. Three down, 15 to go.
I totally overhauled my email inbox system. That took a day.
And I re-watched the entire first season of Sports Night and first-watched Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (good show).
Thursday, Tupac threw up all over my notes on the kitchen table.
I have stories I need to write, but my brain is tired. My legs are tired too. Mostly, I train and then lay on the couch and Google things. If you updated your social medias in the last week, I’m on it. You can tell what kind of mood I’m in by what I Google. Lately, it’s been actual plans, courses and results for races I’m doing, jobs and people looking for pitches. A couple weeks ago it was beach vacations. (Also, still a possibility.)
I think this means I’m starting to get fit again, starting to want to race again. Hard to say, though. I worry if I look too hard straight at it, it’ll slip away, so I keep trying to catch it out of the corner of my eye.
Yesterday, I went for my long ride — by myself naturally — and it didn’t rain. I hadn’t been out to Marshall since the summer, some time before we left for Australia and Kona. It’s pretty much how I remembered it, but wetter. On the way home, there’s a steep shortcut you can take straight up and over the hill, drops you off right above my house. But the tricky part is that to get on the bike path you have to make an almost 180-degree turn through a narrow gate at the edge of the road on the side of the hill. Almost everyone doesn’t make it their first time and then, because it’s hard to get started again on the steep hill, you get stuck doing a 50m walk of shame with your bike.
I’ve ridden that way hundreds of times and I can’t think of the last time I missed the gate on the turn. But that’s only because I know I can make it. There’s still always this moment when I lose momentum, and I always think, ‘this is going to be the time I tip over, the time I run into the wood post.’ And that’s the moment when everyone bails out, when people who have never made it through stop before they can fall.
It’s only if you know you’ll make it, because you’ve already done it, that you know to ride through that moment, that it’s the only way out. I think I’m just riding through my moment right now.