Before big races, almost exclusive of what kind of taper or training I’m doing, I tend to get even lazier than I naturally am, having to work up the energy for the most minimal of workouts, and even more ambitious in my plans for what I’ll do just as soon as this episode of Law and Order: SVU finishes — the plans generally involve major life changes, fellowships, books, TV pilots. Also, I tend to go shopping.
Usually when I go shopping it’s because I like buying some fancy new thing for a race – because I already have race shorts and strong opinions about what you wear when you run fast. Buying something new for a race makes me feel special and important, just like any good woman in commercials. But, there’s also an part of it that’s just about the act of going to the mall. It’s where I go when I’m bored or stressed or anxious or bored or simply, in some way, want to feel the anonymity of being one of millions of people around the country also trying to solve their problems through purchase. The day Floyd died, after I finally got up off the couch, I put on a sweatshirt to go with my sweatpants and a huge pair of sunglasses, so I wouldn’t look crazy from all the crying, and went to the mall. (While at Kohl’s, in that outfit – complete with sunglasses indoors, a woman started quizzing me about if she could wear such-and-such pair of pants or if they were just for teenagers. Lady, no you shouldn’t wear them, but there aren’t really laws about this kind of thing unfortunately, and what about how I look suggests that I work here or that you should be asking me stuff?)
So, like usual, this week I have wanted to go shopping — looking for that undefined thing that I know I’m looking for, but can’t put my finger on. Shockingly, I’ve been having no luck. I don’t believe in trying things on and I have no patience, so I’ve walked in and out of stores, pronouncing everything ugly and sucky in a under a minute. I even walked in and out of Barnes and Noble. Twice.
Finally, I bought this new race tanktop from Northface:
And, it’s ok (it may even be totally great for racing), but it’s not exciting and it just didn’t quell my pre-race shopping needs. Instead, I went to Target and bought nude heels. Which, obviously, I’m totally going to use for Boston.
And, now, tomorrow Steve heads off on some big trip and, then, Saturday I head to Boston. And, hopefully, by then, the cortisone shot will have fully taken effect — it’s sort of working so far? I dunno — and I’ll stop feeling antsy, or just a little antsy, and I’ll be ready to race Monday morning and then I will start drinking. Hmm, maybe I can go shopping in Boston…