Stomach Flu or Food Poisoning? Who cares when you’re lying on the bathroom floor.

Apparently, my phone takes panoramic pictures. Who knew?
Apparently, my phone takes panoramic pictures. Who knew?

Yesterday, Steve and I went up to Bodega Bay for fun. (FYI, the Bodega Bay Lodge is like my favorite place. Super fancy, super nice, but not that expensive and lots of deals – our deal included breakfast and wine.)

Fun was had. As you can see above. We walked/hiked — I mean, really, how does hiking differ from walking? — around the coast. Then, we got our wine tasting on. Turns out it is totally safe to walk along the side of Highway 1 to wine tasting as long as you’ve attached a bunch of bike lights to your coat. And, no the irony of possibly being hit by a driver while avoiding driving and drinking was not lost on me.

Then, we had an over-the-top dinner. And, then, I got really, really sick.

At first my stomach just hurt, which seemed logical given how much I had eaten and drunk. But, then it hurt A LOT. And, then, it quickly turned very ugly. I spent the entire rest of the night being violently ill. And, since passing out is my body’s solution to everything, at one point I threw up so hard/much I passed out on the bathroom floor.

Steve found me at that point, laying face-down on the floor.

The thing about passing out (in case you’ve never done it) is that as you come to you have some senses and can hear people and feel the ground under you, but you can’t quite put it together quickly and you can’t move. So, I could hear Steve saying, “Kelly, can you talk? Can you hear me? Should I call 9-1-1?” but I couldn’t respond and then I thought, ‘Well, no, I guess I can’t talk.’ In those 15 or so seconds while I was coming to, I also became very concerned that I might not be wearing pants. I don’t know why, maybe because I couldn’t feel them? I was wearing pants – thank God – but that story about the woman being found dead on her bathroom floor without any pants on kept flashing through my mind.

Here are other things I thought while being sick all night:

  • Besides being a terrible idea and bad for you and all that, bulimia really doesn’t seem very practical. There’s no way if you’re throwing up that frequently, you wouldn’t make a mess.
  • Ugh, maybe I’m pregnant. That would be so typical, if no one ever said how bad this whole being sick thing was. I actually feel bad for Kate Middleton now.
  • Nope, definitely not that.
  • How come Steve isn’t sick? (I then ran through a catalog of everything we had eaten in the last 24 hours.)
  • What if this is like that CSI episode a couple weeks ago where that girl died from ecoli?
  • What if it’s like that Law and Order episode where that woman was poisoned by mushrooms on her salad? Why would someone want to poison me?
  • I wonder if I can get my money back for all that expensive food and wine.

Now, I’m at home and sleeping on the couch. And, definitely no training today or tomorrow. Floyd gave me a hug to make me feel better.

Floyd the cat is the best.
Floyd the cat is the best.

9 thoughts on “Stomach Flu or Food Poisoning? Who cares when you’re lying on the bathroom floor.

  1. I was sick this week and had a violent night of vomiting, no control of the other end either and I was blacking out and passing out also…..I had this happen several times in my life and have researched it, it doesn’t seem very common….did you break out in a sweat?

    1. I don’t think it’s super common, but it did happen to Hilary Clinton. Yeah, I was dripping sweat, but I think that’s sort of always a byproduct of throwing up so hard to pass out. I mean it wasn’t like my main problem?

      Are you OK now?

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